{How I Know My Marriage Will Last}

Both before and after I got married, I would run into two kinds of people. There would be the people who were super excited for me, talked about how awesome marriage is, and seemed happy with their own marriage/relationship. The other people...I did not like talking to as much. They would reply with "Psh, good luck with that" or talk about how 50% of marriages end in divorce and how "I may seem all in love not, but that will go away." And if you are in a relationship or marriage and telling ME that my love will go away, maybe you should start evaluating your own relationship first before you start criticizing mine.

I love Michael.

Plain and simple, I love him. When we got married, I swore to the ends of the earth, to God, and to Michael that I would love him forever. And that's exactly what I plan on doing for the rest of my life. I plan on trying to take care of him. I plan on hugging him tight every day. I plan on being goofy and trying to make him laugh. I plan on surprising him with things he loves. I plan on loving him. And if he didn't plan on doing the same, I wouldn't have married him. 

You know who's love I love? My parents. They have a good love. They will dance in the kitchen together, laugh together, go on dates every week, compliment and make fun of each other, and hug and kiss every single day. They love each other and they are happy together. They have been married for 24 years and that love "hasn't gone away" because they chose to stay true to those commitments they made to each other and work through any trials that came their way.

If both people in the relationship try to do as much as they can for the other and not be selfish, I don't see how the marriage could fail. I honestly don't. I married the most unselfish person I have ever met in my entire life. I couldn't have asked for a more faithful and helpful husband. So, because of him, I am trying so hard every day to not be selfish. I let him go out with friends when he wants, I let him buy what he wants, I try to cook and clean so he doesn't have to, I work so he doesn't have to worry about supporting both of us, and I try to make him as happy as I can. But I don't feel like it will ever amount to what he does for me. He makes me happier than I have ever been in my entire life. So next time you think about how your relationship may be failing, go a day just doing things for the other person and not asking anything in return. I promise you that THAT is the key to a successful relationship-not asking what they can do for you, but what you can do for them. 

After all, a line in our first dance song at our wedding was "I want to make you feel wanted".

Love-it's a good feeling, so make it last. 

{Just Get Over It}

Jealousy. Greed. Envy. We all go through it. There are always going to be things that other people have that we want, whether it be material belongings, a certain look, their lifestyle, or their relationship with somebody.

Most of the reasons that I feel that people dislike someone is because of jealousy. They want what the other person has, can't get or achieve it, so hence, they hate that person for it. That shouldn't be the way that the world revolves. Instead, we should be happy for the things others have. 

Women especially have this problem, and make it into an even bigger problem. A woman will see another woman that is skinnier, "prettier", richer, or that just seems happier, and automatically hate that woman over jealousy. Women want what other women have. It's as simple as that. You could be a woman that grew up just getting everything you ever wanted because your parents had money and still have hard feelings towards another woman who wasn't given as much, but just looks happier. And that same woman that looks super happy could be jealous of the woman who was just given everything in her life. It's a vicious cycle, ladies. 

I am definitely not innocent in all of this though. No woman is. Being women, we love competition and we seem to make everything a competition, whether it be how white your teeth are, how your kids behave, how nicely your house is decorated, or how cute your pictures are. 

We all just need to give up. Just give up already! Face the facts. You'll never be as skinny as that girl at the gym. Your kids will never behave as well as that mom's at the grocery store. But guess what, they have insecurities too and probably think that they will never have your cute, unique fashion sense. 

We need to stop wanting what other women have and doing whatever it takes to achieve it. Don't want it just because someone else has it. Want it because it would improve YOUR life in a positive way and is the best thing for you. 

Let me tell you a few of the positive things that I am proud of in my life. I met the love of my life at 18 years old and married him one month shy of 20. I bought my own car at 19. My husband and I live in an adorable 3 bed/2 bath house. I love my job. I have amazing friends that I still get together with here and there. Michael and I have happy, supportive families. And I could go on and on about the good things in my life. Or I could be the person that chooses to complain that we have to move out of the house we're renting in 2 months and pay the same price for a one bedroom apartment (crazy, I know). I could complain about how the heater and gas gauge don't work in my truck and I have to push super hard on the door to get it open. I could also complain about how my teeth will never be white enough, my hair never thick enough, and how I don't have the body that I desire, but why would I? Those comments put myself down and make it awkward for everyone else around me when I complain. I'm trying to look at the positive things in my life and be happy for what I have and who I am. 

So lastly ladies, love yourselves. Love each other. Be nice. Stop with the drama. Stop being selfish. Stop making things a competition. Look for things that you can do for others instead of looking for what others can do for you. If you ask someone for a favor, return that favor. It would be greatly appreciated. Show others that you care. Make things about others, instead of yourself. I can promise you, your life will suddenly be much better and you will be so much happier.

{Why I Don't Want Kids.....Right Now}

I can’t even count the times that I have gone through this conversation:

Person 1: “So, when are you two going to have kids?!”

Me: “Actually, probably not for another couple of years.”

Person 1: “Oh…really?....Why?”

And then I have to tell them my personal reasons for not wanting to have a kid the second after I get married.

So, I decided to just let everyone know what those reasons are and my opinion of why I do not want a kid right away.

However, I do not want anyone with kids or who had kids young to take this post offensively. I do love kids. It’s just not for me right now. And I’m sure you wouldn't give your kid(s) up for anything and will never regret having them, however, everyone is different. So, without further ado:

1.       I love Michael and I’s spontaneous date nights.

See, Mike and I usually never plan dates nights. They always just...happen. I mean, we plan the bigger events, but we love getting home, noticing we have nothing planned for the night, looking up show times and just deciding to do dinner and a movie or just going shopping. However, I feel like we won’t have much of that once we start having kids. Our date nights will have to be planned in advance so we can get a babysitter or we will just take our kids with us if we really want to go out and can’t find a babysitter for the night.

2.       Sleeping in

Boy, do Mike and I love sleeping in on our Sundays. Once we have kids though, forget it, at least until they are old enough to watch over themselves. We would be waking up whenever they do to feed them, make sure they don’t fight or hurt themselves, and all of the other responsibilities that come along with being a parent.

3.       Working and Earning Money

Personally, I LOVE my job. I love what I do and I love my coworkers. I look forward to seeing them every day and all the laughs we have together. I love being able to work and make my own money, instead of leaving my husband to go to work every day, pay all the bills, and make extra money for me to spend. I love that I am able to contribute, help pay bills, help pay off debt, and earn some money that allows us to have fun as well. I think it is going to be very hard for me when I am a stay at home mom to not be making some sort of money. However, I have engrained in my mind that I will never be that wife that makes her husband stress about money. Even if I am only making $100 a month selling homemade quilts or something (totally random, I know), I want to be doing something to help contribute. Today, I was talking to one of my coworkers about her, her husband and her son, and her choice to work. I am honestly very impressed by her decision to go to work every day to make a better life in the future for her family. That is very respectable to me. It is very true though. Although she may not be able to spend every waking moment with her son, she is working hard to be able to give him and her husband an easier life. I feel like that will very well pay off a lot better in the long run. Same goes for my mom. Although she doesn't work a lot because she is VERY busy taking care of so many kids and donating her time constantly, she still finds time to be an awesome, dedicated Realtor and bring in a good amount of money.  I respect working moms very much. (However, I know there are moms out there who physically can’t work, and that is 100% understandable.)

4.       Vacations

Yes, you can still take vacations with your children, but it’s not the same. A trip to the beach before you have kids entails sun tanning, sleeping in, and doing pretty much whatever you want. When you bring the kids along, it’s a constant worry about if they have on enough sunscreen, making sure they don’t get lost or drown, bringing all of the toys along, etc. I am positive my parents enjoy their vacations 150x more when they are alone instead of bringing all of the kids along. Not to mention, vacations without kids is A LOT cheaper too.

5.       I want to just spend time with my husband

Michael and I have only been married for 5 months now. I am still getting to know him and still loving finding out new things about him. I want to spend some time, just him and I, for a while before we start a family. Once you have kids, they are there forever. So, I want to wait a couple years or so before we start a family. I love just having a family of two right now.

I am just going to go ahead and stop there though. I have a few more reasons, like kids are expensive and watching other people’s kids is already enough ‘kid time’ for me, but I better stop before this list gets too long. Again though, nothing is wrong with having kids young, having a lot of kids, or having kids in general. I’m just saying why it’s not for me RIGHT NOW. And I don’t think there is anything wrong with any of my reasons of not wanting a baby right now. I love kids and one day I will wake up thinking “I’m ready” but that day won’t be soon, unless God plans otherwise. One thing I know for sure though, is that Mike will be one amazing father and we will make some cute babies!

{What I Gave Up By Getting Married}

I have heard numerous times that I would be/am giving up a lot in my life by getting married, especially getting married young. I always ignore these comments (or have something to say back to them), but tonight I decided to finally admit that I actually did give up a lot by getting married to Mike. So, here are the things I gave up because I got married:

1.       Super awkward dates

I don’t think Mike and I have actually ever had an awkward date. I love that I get to go on a date a couple times a week with the same guy, we always have a blast, and I never have anything to worry about. I am more than happy saying goodbye to those awkward relationship starters.

2.       Weekends alone

I mean, yes, I had my friends that I would hang out with, but when you’re a single girl, the main thing you are looking for on a night out is a cute guy. And there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. It was actually pretty fun. But then at the end of the night, I would go home alone wishing that I found the man of my dreams already. And when my friends were busy, I wouldn't really have anyone to hang out with. Now, Mike and I spend time together all the time and I am so beyond happy!

3.       Paying bills on my own

Actually, now that I am married and out of the house, I have a lot more bills to pay than when I was living at home. Well, WE have a lot more bills to pay. However, having two incomes makes it so much easier to pay bills for some reason. You just don’t feel like you are doing everything on your own. And if it costs me more money to be able to be married to Mike, I think that is so worth it.

4.       Wondering if I am beautiful

It’s nice hearing every day that I am beautiful no matter how I look. And I know that sounds super cliché, but he does tell me every single day that I look good or I’m pretty or beautiful. A lot of men just think it goes without saying, but I love that my husband says it to me.

5.       Dancing with “randoms”

If there is a party that has dancing, I’m there. I love dancing my heart out at parties, even though I know I’m not very good. But I love it, especially themed parties. A lot of times, being a girl, when you go to a school dance or dance party, you wonder who you are going to end up going with and dancing with. You think about how you want to be good at dancing and not embarrass yourself. And most of all, you want to have a good time with whoever you are dancing with. I absolutely love dancing with my husband. We just get each other, move well together, and just have a blast. My favorite two times dancing with him was at the Uprising Paint Fight and our first dance at our wedding.

6.       Relying on my parents for everything

I mean, I still go to them for a lot. But now I have to keep my own house clean, cook my own meals, buy my own groceries, budget our money, and all of those other duties. And Mike definitely makes that easier for me. And when I say easier, I’m meaning like makes it the easiest ever for me! He takes care of our budget and always helps me with all of the chores. We now rely on each other and I love that about our relationship.

7.       Sleeping alone

I like having something or someone next to me in bed. When I lived with my parents, it was either my dog or my stuffed giraffe, usually my dog though. I love being able to curl up next to my husband in bed with his arm around and feeling so safe and comfortable falling asleep for the night.

8.       Being selfish with my time and money

Instead of spending all my money on clothes and going out like I used to, I now am more careful about what I spend my money on. And I know a lot of people would have a hard time with this, but it’s pretty easy for me. I gladly saved up a few hundred dollars to be able to buy my husband another gun. I do that because I love him. I would rather spend my money on him and my time doing things for him. I feel like that is true love. Being married to Mike has made me want to not be selfish.

9.       My lack of self confidence

Now, this hasn't left me completely. But I have definitely felt a lot more confident being married to Michael. That kind of goes along with the “feeling beautiful” post a few paragraphs up. He makes me feel funny, pretty, sweet, and just overall amazing. He has definitely boosted my self-confidence by a ton. I just feel so loved by him. And I can’t help but show it by the huge smile he puts on my face.

10.   Dreaming of my Prince Charming…..because I found him!!!

I used to day dream about the perfect man/husband all the time. I wanted him to be tall, funny, sweet, athletic, fun, and of course handsome. I wanted a man that made me feel beautiful and incredible. I wanted a man that got along with my family and whose family welcomed me in. I wanted a man who still took me on dates and kissed me all the time. I wanted a man who I could watch play sports and feel proud that he was mine. I wanted a man who would hold me tight, kiss me on the cheek and tell me he loves me. I found that man. I found the MOST PERFECT man for me. Michael Anthony is the man of my dreams. I met him, wanted him, asked him out first, and somehow convinced him to marry me. I love that I never have to wonder again when my Prince Charming will come into my life. I now just have to look over and see him standing right next to me.

So, I did give up a lot by getting married, however, I don’t think any of them will take any getting used to. Marrying Michael was the best thing that ever happened to me.

{The People You Should Not Date}

To start off, there are many people that everyone knows you shouldn't date, like the typical jerk, player, drama queen, addict, and all those other stereotypes. But I want to go a little bit more deeper than that. So, these are the people who I think you should just avoid dating.

Don't be in a relationship with someone who:

1. Is JUST your best friend.

Yes, I know everyone says to "date/marry your best friend", and while that is a good thing for your significant other to be, that's not the only thing they should be. On top of being your best friend, you should also be attracted to them and have other feelings for them other than "best friend". You should be in love with them, not just love them. If I married someone who was just my best friend, I could have married like 8 different people (you know who you are), mostly being girls. So, I say avoid dating the "best friend" unless you see them as someone more than just your best friend.

2. Makes you do all the work.

I've been in relationships like this. They suck. It just plains sucks. And I think everyone has been in a relationship like this sometime in their life. You spend your money on them and they rarely spend money on you. You change your plans to their plans. You do what they want to do. You hang out with their family and rarely yours. And just everything seems to be about them while you're running around trying to make them happy. They're just making you do all the work in the relationship. And if you feel like that is the relationship you are in now, my advice-GET OUT NOW! It may be hard, but I can promise you that you can find someone who dedicates as much time and energy to you as you do to them. 

3. Has only one good quality-their looks.

How many times do people have to say this. It's not worth it to date someone who's only good quality is their looks!!! Yes, they may be totally sexy and have a killer smile, but if they are boring or have a crappy personality, do you really want to be with them? Looks fade, honey. I'm the type of girl who loves hearing people talk about their significant others, why they like them, and how they met. And I find it SO sad when I ask someone about their lover, they say, "They're sooo hot" and that's it. They usually mention something about them either being super conceited, rude or not treating them very good, but for some reason it's okay just because they are attractive. Don't get me wrong, it's perfectly fine to be attracted to someone. Actually, it's great. Michael is the most attractive guy in the entire world to me. But, that shouldn't be the only positive you can say about the person you are dating.

4. Loves to make you jealous or piss you off.

I don't even think I need to go any further on this one. It's just messed up, they don't truly care about you, and you shouldn't be with them. Period.

5. Doesn't encourage you to be your best self.

Your significant other should always be supporting you and encouraging you in every way possible no matter what. Whether it's in school, religion, work, hobbies, skills, sports, or just absolutely ANYTHING! One small thing Michael does is to encourage me to get ready for the day sometimes. It's not like he's telling me to go put on some make up because I look ugly without it, he encourages me to do my hair, make up, and get dressed up because he knows that it boosts my self esteem so much more. Whenever we go out and I'm just in yoga pants, with a pony tail and a little make up, we have so much fun and he still thinks I'm beautiful. But the best nights ever are the ones when I get ready; when my hair is all curled and I spent time on my make up and I have a cute little outfit on. He knows that looking good makes me a lot happier and makes me feel a lot better about myself. Your significant other should always be encouraging  you to do whatever would make you the happiest.

6. Doesn't listen to you.

Communication is key. Seriously. That's like the number one thing needed to make a relationship work. And if you find that your significant other never listens to you or doesn't care for your opinion, well then, your relationship will never work unless that gets fixed. It's as simple as that. 

7. Doesn't want you to hang out with friends.

One thing I love about Michael is that is he 100% supportive of Girls' Night. He understands that I need a little time with my girls to gossip, laugh, take pictures, and talk....A LOT, just like I know that he needs his bowling or COD nights. Before we had each other, we had our friends. We love our friends. And you shouldn't be with someone who only wants you to hang out with them and never wants you to be with your friends. Being in a relationship like that completely drains you. Your significant other should keep in mind that they're not the only person in your entire life. 

So, kind of going in an opposite perspective, here is the person you should be with. You should be with someone who is your best friend and more, someone who would do anything for you, someone who is good looking AND has a lot of other good qualities, someone who wants to make you happy, someone who encourages you to be your best self, someone who listens to you and someone who supports your friendships. That's the perfect person for you. Believe me. And it may take a while to find that person, but it will all be worth it in the end. Trust me. I found mine.

{Local Businesses That I Love}

A few of the local businesses that I have come to just love around the East Valley Arizona area. Enjoy!

Jaxn Blvd

I first found Jaxn Blvd through a friend who shared their page on Instagram in efforts to try to win a free sign. Upon seeing the signs in the picture that was posted, I just HAD to follow the company profile and look at more signs that she made. After a few weeks, I decided on one sign finally that I wanted to put in my house. (Believe me, I loved all of them, but I am trying really hard to cut back my spending) I chose a gorgeous black and white striped sign with a gold glitter heart. A couple months later, she posted a picture of a sign that reads, "This home runs on Love, Laughter, and lots of Diet Coke" and I just HAD to get it for my mother in law. I will definitely be ordering more signs for my home in days to come. You can find this cute little shop on Instagram and Etsy.

Shelley Bee Originals

Yet again, I found another adorable shop owned by an adorable lady. If I could marry skirts (sorry Mike), I would marry hers. They are the cutest modest skirts around. She has so many different styles and patterns to offer. The possibilities are endless! I love looking at all of the adorable pictures she posts that her customers send to her. It's nice to see the clothing on actually people instead of models. After carefully deciding, I chose one skirt that I absolutely loved-a floral pencil skirt. It fit me so nicely and it's just so fun to wear. I can't wait to get another skirt soon. Possibly a twirly or mismatched on this time. You can find these adorable skirts on Etsy and Instagram. 

{By the way, this picture totally wasn't posed. Props to my hubby for taking this while fluffling my hair thinking I was about to take a picture}

My Event Film

My Event Film is run by David Nuttall, who just happened to be my old high school's video production teacher, so I already knew his work was fantastic. Soon after getting engaged and starting to plan our wedding, I was thinking about if I wanted to get a wedding film done. Ha. OF COURSE I wanted to get a wedding film done! So, I started looking around at different companies. In Novemeber, I attended a wedding of a close family friend and noticed David Nuttall filming around the wedding and reception. After talking around, I found out he was their wedding film videographer. I'm pretty sure my parents even talked to him that night. I soon emailed him and found out that he had my wedding weekend free and we booked his services soon after. He was very easy to work with and our wedding film turned out absolutely AMAZING! I still watch it all the time. You can visit his website at myeventfilm.com  and click here to view our wedding video.

DownEast Basics

Where do I even start with this place? This store is my clothing shopping dream place and home decor dream place all wrapped up in one! I have shopped at DownEast Basics for years and was SO excited when they finally built one in the San Tan Village Shopping Center. I go into this store all the time. This has to be one of my favorite stores to get skirts and dresses; I just love them all! Now that I have my own little home, I love looking through all of the home decor items as well. What I especially love about this store is that I can shop online and in store, and I always seem to be able to find something adorable on sale. They have several locations all over the East Valley. DownEast is just so chic and modern, and I can't wait to go on another shopping spree!

Swirl It

It's seems like self-serve froyo is all the rage these days. And I totally understand why! I love being able to go into a shop, fill up my cup with whatever flavors sound good, and load it up with tons of topping! However, there are just so many froyo shops that have opened up within the past couple of years that sometimes it's hard to choose which shop to go to. My favorite definitely has to be Swirl It. It's located next to my gym about 15 minutes away on Val Vista and Williams Field. Why I like Swirl It better than any other self serve froyo shop is because I always end up loving all of the choices that they have there. They always seem to have a few of my favorite flavors of frozen yogurt, tons of yummy toppings (including Magic Shell, which i love!), you can throw in a whole candy bar, and it's just an adorable place to go. They even do a digital punch card and offer discounts on their free App. My husband and I have even developed a little habit of going there after the gym sometimes, but hey, to us it's worth it. 

{Post work out Swirl It run}

{More businesses to come soon. Please comment below if you have a local business that you love and would like for me to check out!}

{Things Not To Say To A Newlywed}

I've been holding these feelings in for quite a while and I am sure that a lot of you newlywed girls can agree with  me on these. (Not directed at anyone in particular. These have been said to me numerous times)

1. You're married at 20? Good luck with that!

Even though this is said kind of jokingly, it is still super rude to say. It is usually said in a super sarcastic way with the person hinting at you that getting married young is a mistake. Recently, I had a coworker say this to me, but he actually said it in a nice way that I didn't have a problem with. I had heard it a million times from other people, so when he said it, I was kinda like "yeah, yeah, whatever". But then he stopped me and told me the story of him and his ex-wife. At the end, he told me that he really wishes he could have kept making their marriage work, but it just ended for them. He said he really did mean "Good Luck" to me in a nice way and that he hoped my marriage would be full of happiness. THAT is the only exception here. 

2. You know, 50% of marriages end in divorce. 

You know what? I don't think it's exactly 50% of marriages and plus, it doesn't mean that our marriage will end in divorce. And I think that it is completely unnecessary to say that to someone who is recently married or plan on getting married. In all reality here, how many marriages do people go into thinking, "I'm probably going to end up divorcing them in 10 years?" I don't think many. It just kind of happens after time and with reasons behind it. And also, just because I'm married young, doesn't necessarily mean I am more likely to get a divorce.  

3. When are you having kids?

Probably not for a couple years unless God plans differently for us. Mike and I want to spend the first couple years of our marriage as just us. We like going out on Friday nights as a newlywed couple and not having to worry about finding a babysitter. We like sleeping in on Saturday and Sunday mornings and not having to get up to take care of the kids. We like randomly going places and not having to strap the baby in the car seat or deal with them throwing a fit at the store or restaurant. We are newlyweds. And I don't really want to have a kid right away. I'm not saying anything is wrong with having kids at a young age or right when you get married, it's just not for me. 

4. You'll understand when you have kids.

This one especially eats at me. Most of the time when this is said to me, it's something that I ALREADY DO understand and is probably a reason that I don't want kids at this exact moment in my life. I have babysat kids for the past 9 years of my life. Believe me, I have watched so many kids in my lifetime that I think I know every childish stereotype there is. And I'm not saying that being a babysitter and nanny is the same thing as being a mother, because it's not. They are very different, but actually very similar in a lot of ways. And yes, I may not know exactly what you are going through with your kids or the feelings that you feel, but I definitely "understand". I have heard several times from parents that they were up all night because their kid didn't want to go to bed, and when I make any comment back, I will get the "You'll understand when you have kids" phrase. My opinion is-tell them to get their butt to bed. Personally, that's how I grew up. When I was 5 years old, I don't ever remember staying up as long as I wanted playing just because "I wanted to". If I didn't want to go to bed, too bad for me. I went to bed anyways. I was five. And I think it is absolutely ridiculous for some parents to let their kids be the boss of them just because they want to be the "fun parent" or they're just "too nice". Be the boss of your five year old and make them go to sleep.

5. You'll be different once you're married for a long time

Actually, I won't be. I will ALWAYS love my sweet husband and I will ALWAYS try to go out of my way to make him happy. I will always cuddle up on him. I will always kiss him in public. I will always give him holiday gifts (yes, even Easter and St. Patrick's Day). I will always want to sit next to him. I will always want to look cute on "date night" with him. You choose whether you change or not. You choose whether you want to be affectionate or not. Mike and I are both affectionate people. We love being next to each other and we love just loving each other. And I don't think that will ever change. Recently, I left this note for Mike to see when he got home from work:

Some people thought it was super sweet and a super cute idea. Some people thought I was just being sarcastic. And some people said that "it will be different once you're married for a while". I love writing Mike randomly cute notes for him to find and read and I won't ever stop doing that. I won't ever stop writing a simple "I Love You" on his napkin when I pack him a lunch for work. I won't ever stop doing those things, even when we're married for a long time. I will always love him and I think that our love will even grow stronger the longer we're married.